Lifestyle

Florida Woman Attacks Farting Husband With Knife In The Buttocks

STABBING

A 55-year-old Florida woman was arrested for domestic battery after allegedly attacking her husband for farting in bed. The flatulence occurred around 3:20 AM on December 11 at the home of Dawn Meikle. Meikle’s husband told police that she started elbowing him every time he passed gas.

“Dawn began kicking him over and over again every time he would fart,” according to the affidavit. “But when the farts became ‘juicy and wet sounding’ Dawn went to the kitchen, grabbed a carving knife, and shanked her husband in the buttocks.” That’s when her husband fell out of bed, reach for the phone, locked himself in the bathroom for safety and called 911.

“I cracked the bathroom door open to see if she was gone,” said the husband. “But she snuck around the corner, stuck her foot in the door, and that’s when I maced her crazy ass. Not with my farts this time, but with pepper spray.” Meikle was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and taken to the St. Lucie County jail where she was later released. She claims she was the true victim of this entire incident. “If YOU had smelled his nasty ass farts, you’d understand,” Meikle said. “They were so bad I could taste them.”