1. You’re always “so cute,” which is incredibly frustrating when you were going for “sexy.”
2. People think it’s funny when you’re mad.
3. When you gain five pounds, it’s noticeable.
4. When you gain ten pounds, it’s really noticeable.
5. When you gain fifteen pounds, you want to fling yourself out a window except you’re certain you’d bounce right back as soon as you hit the ground.
6. Frankly, you can’t reach anything.
7. It actually feels weird when your pants are the proper length, because you’re used to them being too long.
8. Dress codes are unforgiving. You actually look like you’re drowning in fabric if your skirt or dress reaches your knees.
9. “Wait, no. You have to wear heels or I can’t stand next to you all night.”
10. You know that a “legal midget” is someone under 4’11”, because every person insists on reminding you that you almost qualify.*
*Editor’s note: People with dwarfism are under 4’11”, but not every person under 4’11” has dwarfism. Idiots.
11. You don’t always have to squat in the front of photos.
12. And if you’re not in the front of photos, you might as well not be in them at all.
13. Your yoga pants are all ripped at the bottom.
14. Boys like short girls more.
15. …because you’re “easy to throw around.” Hmm.
16. Middle schoolers are taller than you are.
17. When you’re sitting, your feet don’t always reach the floor, and you don’t care how childlike you look swinging your legs.
18. You can’t dust the snow off the top of your car, because you can’t reach it.
19. You don’t think it’s weird to have friends who are over a foot taller than you are.
20. “Bitch, please.” -You when girls 5’5” or taller complain about being short.
21. You see as much of the performance at a jam-packed concert as you would if you were listening to the radio.
22. Cooking dinner becomes an acrobatic experience, because you regularly have to hoist yourself up onto your kitchen counters to reach things.
23. Before reading this sentence, you didn’t know that normal-sized people can see the hoods of their cars while they’re driving.
24. To hold hands with a tall guy, you have to bend your arm at the elbow and aim up.
25. People like to tell you you’re short, as if you’re unaware.
26. There’s at least one item of clothing from your childhood that still fits you.
27. Everyone wants to “put you in their pockets.”
28. Your head is an armrest — as if everyone’s arms are just so tired all the time that they need constant resting.
29. Short guys flock to you.
30. Your “big growth spurt” shot you up to 4’10” from 4’4”.
31. Snooki and Kristin Chenoweth are your favorites.
32. Maxi dresses. Lol.
33. Amusement parks become a constant “Are you tall enough for this ride?” joke.
34. If you know an 11-year-old, his favorite party trick is making you stand up to show people that he’s taller than you are.
35. You were always first when you had to line up in size order.
36. Peepholes are pointless.
37. Wearing jeans when it’s raining is your own personal torture treatment.
38. No one can fit in the driver’s seat of your car, and the amount of time it takes for them to electronically adjust it makes it feel like the vehicle itself is mocking you
39. Putting something at the top of your closet means you’re not going to see it again for a very long time.
40. If you wear really short bottoms, you still don’t look slutty.
41. You can describe yourself as “tiny” and it’s not obnoxious.
42. There are people who are still taller than you when you’re standing on an elevated surface.
43. You mentally prepare yourself before getting up onto a barstool.
44. You resent people who are shorter than you are, because being little is your thing.